Sending hugs your way Sam. Suicide is tough, but it's even tougher when it's someone you know.
I think the media not being able to publish suicide is doing all the suicide prevention measures a disservice. People genuinely don't realise how often it happens. We see the numbers but we don't see the daily report or the families that are affected.
I really like that you mention the tick boxes and appearing to turn a corner. I think often in life we move through the motions and tick boxes and do the things that we are told we should do to help us feel better when deep down it's not working but what happens if you tell someone that what's supposed to work isn't working? We are all different and there is no one size fits all approach to anything. But I think sometimes we end up feeling like if it worked for all these people, it should work for me, so I'm not going to speak up that it's not or we make excuses and say maybe I just need more time? Maybe more time is needed or maybe another intervention needs to be tried? Or maybe we just need to sit in these deep feelings in the company of someone so we feel less alone?
I think nothing hurts more than knowing that people were struggling in silence. <3 <3 We will always be left wondering if we could have done more. x
It's a lot like the domestic violence numbers. I hate the laws around suicide being reported. I think seeing it reported properly, seeing the grief people are experiencing, rather than some numbers on a screen, would bring the issue to peoples attention the way it deserves to be. It's easier to ignore when it looks like a screenshot of a document rather than a grieving family.
Yeah, I know from experience that ticking boxes doesn't provide us with the contentment we seek. I thought buying a house, getting a promotion to a certain salary, getting a company car, running my first marathon would give me this overwhelming feeling of being enough. Like I was a good and normal person. They didn't. I'm realising it's about establishing the boxes we want to tick for ourselves, not others, and that they don't have to be objectively measurable.
It's a tricky balance between always being willing to try something new to achieve the result and not burning yourself out with constant dead ends. I think you're onto something about learning to sit in the feelings. Some people just struggle with that more than others.
Yeah, letting go of all the questions and trying to find peace in the fact that they're no longer in pain is all we can do I think.. And understanding that that could take time and you don't have to reach that destination straight away.
I watched this show last week while I was sick you might like it. It's on Stan and called totally completely fine.
I think there are different approaches when dealing with people who have suicide ideation and sometimes the person just needs a word or event to snap them out of the train of thought and really think about what they're doing.
Research has shown that those who attempt suicide sit on the decision for 5 minutes before they ahead with it. Which shows that the decision is often emotional/irrational.
At the end of the day we all have a choice and sometimes people choose to not live anymore and while it's a devestating choice it's a choice all the same and the only comfort for us is to know that the person is no longer suffering and they lived out their choice.
Yeah, I believe when they say it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I agree in a sense about it being a choice, but I think that choice is often made by a person not of sound mind. I think that’s evident when we look at other poor decisions we make. It is in my case anyway, when I reflect on the poorest choices I’ve made, they usually correlate directly with a period of time where I wasn’t in a good place mentally and emotionally. Essentially, not a choice I would ordinarily have made. That’s the bit that hurts, I think. But as you said, we’ve gotta do whatever we need to to work through it.
Sending hugs your way Sam. Suicide is tough, but it's even tougher when it's someone you know.
I think the media not being able to publish suicide is doing all the suicide prevention measures a disservice. People genuinely don't realise how often it happens. We see the numbers but we don't see the daily report or the families that are affected.
I really like that you mention the tick boxes and appearing to turn a corner. I think often in life we move through the motions and tick boxes and do the things that we are told we should do to help us feel better when deep down it's not working but what happens if you tell someone that what's supposed to work isn't working? We are all different and there is no one size fits all approach to anything. But I think sometimes we end up feeling like if it worked for all these people, it should work for me, so I'm not going to speak up that it's not or we make excuses and say maybe I just need more time? Maybe more time is needed or maybe another intervention needs to be tried? Or maybe we just need to sit in these deep feelings in the company of someone so we feel less alone?
I think nothing hurts more than knowing that people were struggling in silence. <3 <3 We will always be left wondering if we could have done more. x
Thanks Clare,
It's a lot like the domestic violence numbers. I hate the laws around suicide being reported. I think seeing it reported properly, seeing the grief people are experiencing, rather than some numbers on a screen, would bring the issue to peoples attention the way it deserves to be. It's easier to ignore when it looks like a screenshot of a document rather than a grieving family.
Yeah, I know from experience that ticking boxes doesn't provide us with the contentment we seek. I thought buying a house, getting a promotion to a certain salary, getting a company car, running my first marathon would give me this overwhelming feeling of being enough. Like I was a good and normal person. They didn't. I'm realising it's about establishing the boxes we want to tick for ourselves, not others, and that they don't have to be objectively measurable.
It's a tricky balance between always being willing to try something new to achieve the result and not burning yourself out with constant dead ends. I think you're onto something about learning to sit in the feelings. Some people just struggle with that more than others.
Yeah, letting go of all the questions and trying to find peace in the fact that they're no longer in pain is all we can do I think.. And understanding that that could take time and you don't have to reach that destination straight away.
I watched this show last week while I was sick you might like it. It's on Stan and called totally completely fine.
I think there are different approaches when dealing with people who have suicide ideation and sometimes the person just needs a word or event to snap them out of the train of thought and really think about what they're doing.
Research has shown that those who attempt suicide sit on the decision for 5 minutes before they ahead with it. Which shows that the decision is often emotional/irrational.
At the end of the day we all have a choice and sometimes people choose to not live anymore and while it's a devestating choice it's a choice all the same and the only comfort for us is to know that the person is no longer suffering and they lived out their choice.
Cool, I’ll have a look at it.
Yeah, I believe when they say it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I agree in a sense about it being a choice, but I think that choice is often made by a person not of sound mind. I think that’s evident when we look at other poor decisions we make. It is in my case anyway, when I reflect on the poorest choices I’ve made, they usually correlate directly with a period of time where I wasn’t in a good place mentally and emotionally. Essentially, not a choice I would ordinarily have made. That’s the bit that hurts, I think. But as you said, we’ve gotta do whatever we need to to work through it.