Cracking read. I’ll be honest, when I started reading the logical and emotional bit, I thought to myself “ahh I’ve read all this before”... but that white board/discussion example was great and helped me view it from a different angle.
It was strange but empowering when this realisation clicked for me... sometimes I would get stressed about emotional responses or irrational thought patterns I’d have.. but when I viewed it through the lens of being a symptom, rather than the logical side diagnosing something, it allowed me to detach and focus on the basics. As you allude to, it’s always a work in progress but it’s always improving.
Thanks for the dim sim shout out lol, I truly believe if you fill your plate you’re more likely to spill it and less likely to adjust to changing circumstances when needed.
I think I had a bit of a realisation that I've forever been telling my emotional brain to shut up which is a handy tool but I was doing it to all and any negative emotions. I've realised this through my psychology appointments that no one emotion is less important than another. I need to at least slowdown and consider them and be ok with stuff being shitty sometimes. I don't think I'll ever be as present as I'd like to be when experiencing positive emotions until I am able to sit in the negative ones, understand them and process them.
Like all things, I'll get better at feeling them each time I do it. When I ignore them they don't actually go away, they fester and come back stronger. I need to work on knocking them on the head when they're only small. It's like fixing a road after lots of rain. I need to fix them properly when they're potholes so I don't wind up having to go back and rebuild the road from the ground up. A much bigger task.
Was talking to Benny this morning about it. We should aim to leave about 20% of our plate empty for the dim sims.
Haha, yeah. I think it's just convenient because it's popular elsewhere. I'd like to one day get to a more even split. 60/40 would be nice. But I don't think I can trust myself with that much free time and lack of structure just yet. I think I need to kind of ignore it and let it happen organically.
Mate, I love how u break down the raw emotions n struggles you encounter. It's really inspiring and really respect and admire how head strong u are brother..
This is why I think it's important to include these concepts in the school curriculum, so that we can all understand ourselves and others better. If it's not being taught in the schools, then we are relying on people learning it by choice and unfortunately there are lots of people out there who "don't have time" to learn about these beautiful things. Understanding that emotions are real, and rather than trying to forget about them or push them to the side, embrace them and really allow yourself to feel. Feeling is one of the most incredible aspects about being alive. Language is everything, as opposed to say I am sad, telling ourselves that we are noticing that we feel sad can help us take a positive step back from that emotion and not let it take such a big hold over us. A well written post for anybody to read and understand the concepts without having to delve into a big worded hard to read psychology book :) .
I think that's where I struggle. Differentiate between "I feel sad" and "I am having the feeling that I am sad". I think it's from avoiding anything negative whatsoever for such a long time.
I'm grateful that I know at least what I need to do. Just gotta keep chipping away at it I think.
Taking a lot away from this Sam - your analogues were vivid and clear and helped me make sense of some of my own responses. Thank you for your perspective and sharing your lessons learnt on this journey.
Can't hurt to try mate and see how it works for you. When you write it, you have to think about it, write it, then read it to make sure it makes sense. So you process the thought three or four times. Helps you get a better understanding of how you feel.
I wish I was this articulate and had the ability to put my thoughts down like this. True inspiration and a bloody good bloke. I think we all struggle, I know I do. I just don't want to be the bloke I was. And reading things like this helps heaps. Thank you.
Mate, you should try journalling. You don't have to share it. It's helped me process, organise and understand my thoughts so much and I feel like I have space in my head afterward. Like I am more prepared to take on any unexpected shit. I have been shocked at just how much it has helped me. like I couldn't make sense of my feeling beforehand.
It's human nature to struggle through periods, things simply can't be great all the time, as you know more than most. It doesn't matter if we don't make much progress today, it doesn't even matter if we regress a little here and there. It's all about trajectory. Four steps forward and three steps backward still puts you a step ahead of where you were.
It's people like you who inspire me the most, mate. Makes me want to write again each week. I like the circular nature of it all. People helping one another. We gain when we give. Everyone wins.
Cracking read. I’ll be honest, when I started reading the logical and emotional bit, I thought to myself “ahh I’ve read all this before”... but that white board/discussion example was great and helped me view it from a different angle.
It was strange but empowering when this realisation clicked for me... sometimes I would get stressed about emotional responses or irrational thought patterns I’d have.. but when I viewed it through the lens of being a symptom, rather than the logical side diagnosing something, it allowed me to detach and focus on the basics. As you allude to, it’s always a work in progress but it’s always improving.
Thanks for the dim sim shout out lol, I truly believe if you fill your plate you’re more likely to spill it and less likely to adjust to changing circumstances when needed.
Thanks, mate.
I think I had a bit of a realisation that I've forever been telling my emotional brain to shut up which is a handy tool but I was doing it to all and any negative emotions. I've realised this through my psychology appointments that no one emotion is less important than another. I need to at least slowdown and consider them and be ok with stuff being shitty sometimes. I don't think I'll ever be as present as I'd like to be when experiencing positive emotions until I am able to sit in the negative ones, understand them and process them.
Like all things, I'll get better at feeling them each time I do it. When I ignore them they don't actually go away, they fester and come back stronger. I need to work on knocking them on the head when they're only small. It's like fixing a road after lots of rain. I need to fix them properly when they're potholes so I don't wind up having to go back and rebuild the road from the ground up. A much bigger task.
Was talking to Benny this morning about it. We should aim to leave about 20% of our plate empty for the dim sims.
That bloody 80/20 rule pops up everywhere doesn't it?
Haha, yeah. I think it's just convenient because it's popular elsewhere. I'd like to one day get to a more even split. 60/40 would be nice. But I don't think I can trust myself with that much free time and lack of structure just yet. I think I need to kind of ignore it and let it happen organically.
Mate, I love how u break down the raw emotions n struggles you encounter. It's really inspiring and really respect and admire how head strong u are brother..
Thanks heaps mate. I'm so glad it's helping others. I truly hope it's helping people as much as the process helps me. That's all I want.
Emotions are data :) :)
This is why I think it's important to include these concepts in the school curriculum, so that we can all understand ourselves and others better. If it's not being taught in the schools, then we are relying on people learning it by choice and unfortunately there are lots of people out there who "don't have time" to learn about these beautiful things. Understanding that emotions are real, and rather than trying to forget about them or push them to the side, embrace them and really allow yourself to feel. Feeling is one of the most incredible aspects about being alive. Language is everything, as opposed to say I am sad, telling ourselves that we are noticing that we feel sad can help us take a positive step back from that emotion and not let it take such a big hold over us. A well written post for anybody to read and understand the concepts without having to delve into a big worded hard to read psychology book :) .
Well put!
I think that's where I struggle. Differentiate between "I feel sad" and "I am having the feeling that I am sad". I think it's from avoiding anything negative whatsoever for such a long time.
I'm grateful that I know at least what I need to do. Just gotta keep chipping away at it I think.
Taking a lot away from this Sam - your analogues were vivid and clear and helped me make sense of some of my own responses. Thank you for your perspective and sharing your lessons learnt on this journey.
Thanks Timmy, I figured a few things out for myself along the way. haha. That's the beauty of it all.
I might give it a go mate love the 4 step analogy very true.
Can't hurt to try mate and see how it works for you. When you write it, you have to think about it, write it, then read it to make sure it makes sense. So you process the thought three or four times. Helps you get a better understanding of how you feel.
I wish I was this articulate and had the ability to put my thoughts down like this. True inspiration and a bloody good bloke. I think we all struggle, I know I do. I just don't want to be the bloke I was. And reading things like this helps heaps. Thank you.
Mate, you should try journalling. You don't have to share it. It's helped me process, organise and understand my thoughts so much and I feel like I have space in my head afterward. Like I am more prepared to take on any unexpected shit. I have been shocked at just how much it has helped me. like I couldn't make sense of my feeling beforehand.
It's human nature to struggle through periods, things simply can't be great all the time, as you know more than most. It doesn't matter if we don't make much progress today, it doesn't even matter if we regress a little here and there. It's all about trajectory. Four steps forward and three steps backward still puts you a step ahead of where you were.
It's people like you who inspire me the most, mate. Makes me want to write again each week. I like the circular nature of it all. People helping one another. We gain when we give. Everyone wins.