That’s the thing I’m trying to figure out too. Unfortunately it might be a case of just keeping on trying whatever we can until we find one or several things are effective.
I was having another think about your article with regards to what that missing link could be, mate. There's probably a few?
You've mentioned a very real one in my mind, but perhaps there's the idea that people view their pain as insurmountable and unrelenting. Imagine feeling the worst pain you've felt and believing it won't go away? Bloody hell.
That's the key of being able to talk to someone, they can inject some hope or belief that things will change, and sharing your struggle shares the pain as well.
You know what makes me happy? Is that you're still thinking about it. I know you and I are similar in that aspect and you have a deeply personal reason for wanting to impact change, but it makes me feel good that people have walked away and have genuinely considered the questions asked and are now trying to think of possible solutions. If there is 5 other groups like us doing the same in the world right now, there could be 6 next week etc.
From little things big things grow. You have a way with words and a unique way of drawing parallels and analogies. It's a real skill and it's helping me understand resilience/mental health better.
Thanks mate, people like you and Benny give me the confidence to keep going and open up even more. Especially around stuff I thought was a little crazy haha.
When we let our thoughts bounce around we always sound crazy haha when we share them we’re never as crazy as we fear... because everyone else is also a little crazy. But that’s a beautiful thing.
Yeah I imagine there would be many, then variants on top them depending on the circumstances, as all circumstances are different.
That's why I think people who have similar lived experiences could be key here. If you have a daunting task at work that you've never done before, who do you ask for help? Someone who has done it before.
Been thinking about this subject a lot this week. Not for me. I'm in a good spot right now. But two specific cases that are intertwined and ultimately ended in tragedy. And what I could've done differently to help both people.
It’s tricky. We can’t dwell and things we did or didn’t do in the past for our own sake. At the same time though, it’s imperative that we do a Lessons Learned after something happens and we think we could have done things better in an attempt to prevent the same thing happening again.
Why is asking for help more scarier than taking your life?
Until people stop flogging themselves in jobs they hate, and start prioritising their physical and mental health over money... I fear is only gonna get worse.
When you break a bone, you don’t think twice about getting help. In fact, it can’t come soon enough.
I think the values instilled in us as kids play a large role too. I was fed the “you need a qualification, money isn’t everything but the more you have the easier your life will be”. At what cost though? I love working hard, it’s brings me contentment, but I think that circles back to a lack of self esteem and working until I’m satisfied within myself that I’ve done enough.
Hopefully it’s a generational shift that’s already happening and each day is a step in the right direction. Hopefully...
Yeah I do too. There’s a lot of older people carrying on like the youth are hopeless etc. I disagree. I think we’ve never been in safer hands in reference to these topics. Whenever I speak to kids these days they are so much better adjusted than I was at the same age. Teenagers are are using less substances than ever, they’re environmentally and socially conscious. Hopefully it continues that way.
I think the shift is definitely happening...I think its also on those of us in the workplace who have some work and life experience to think about what signals our own behaviours and work habits have on the younger cohorts coming in. Happiness at work for me has been making sure that people see me as more than my position or my output, but that I have an identity that is not too closely tied to my work. I'm guilty of overworking to meet deadlines, deliver the the thing to a high standard and to not let the team down...but we can also demonstrate that sometimes you need to take your foot off the pedal, finish early, take a sick day if you need one, not just for your physical health but for your mental health too. The trick is how do you strike that balance as a leader of the right level of vulnerability and authenticity while at the same time instilling confidence in your team that 'you got this'. I've struggled with this and I wonder if in some ways showing too much vulnerability has held me back in my career but i wouldnt change it.
Kudos for writing about this really tough topic. I'm definitely not an expert but the only thing I am sure of is that the art of regular talking and communicating with each other has been lost as part of our everyday...modern life has robbed us of the 'cavemans campfire'.
Yeah, It's really tricky. I'm very similar. I don't practice what I preach. I will jump on at home after a long day to finish something off or get something through to someone then tell someone else not to do the same. But I will also tell my boss when I need an arvo off and if I have to I'll explain why. Luckily my work is pretty good, usually they see I do more than I should and are happy to accommodate. I don't know what THE answer is but I think the questions need to be asked to generate conversation. I don't even think there is one answer. I think it we need to be flexible and considerate of peoples individual circumstances. It's tricky but I think that's why managers get paid the extra money. The good ones get better output from their teams not by cracking the whip, but by creating and environment that people want work in. Better off having someone give 80% for 8 hours than 50% for 10.
I don't think any of us but I think it's important to get voices out there, have the conversation and generate ideas. You're right. It's hard to lock everyone in a room and have engaged conversation. I whilst online meetings are very handy and allow that little bit of extra flexibility, I find people in online meetings are less engaged and there is less you can do to draw their attention back from whatever they are doing in the background.
I find myself asking the question... what are we missing?
I only have more questions in trying to answer it but I agree, I think we’re heading in the right direction.
Great article again, mate.
That’s the thing I’m trying to figure out too. Unfortunately it might be a case of just keeping on trying whatever we can until we find one or several things are effective.
I was having another think about your article with regards to what that missing link could be, mate. There's probably a few?
You've mentioned a very real one in my mind, but perhaps there's the idea that people view their pain as insurmountable and unrelenting. Imagine feeling the worst pain you've felt and believing it won't go away? Bloody hell.
That's the key of being able to talk to someone, they can inject some hope or belief that things will change, and sharing your struggle shares the pain as well.
You know what makes me happy? Is that you're still thinking about it. I know you and I are similar in that aspect and you have a deeply personal reason for wanting to impact change, but it makes me feel good that people have walked away and have genuinely considered the questions asked and are now trying to think of possible solutions. If there is 5 other groups like us doing the same in the world right now, there could be 6 next week etc.
Mate, absolutely.
From little things big things grow. You have a way with words and a unique way of drawing parallels and analogies. It's a real skill and it's helping me understand resilience/mental health better.
Loving it.
Thanks mate, people like you and Benny give me the confidence to keep going and open up even more. Especially around stuff I thought was a little crazy haha.
When we let our thoughts bounce around we always sound crazy haha when we share them we’re never as crazy as we fear... because everyone else is also a little crazy. But that’s a beautiful thing.
Yeah I imagine there would be many, then variants on top them depending on the circumstances, as all circumstances are different.
That's why I think people who have similar lived experiences could be key here. If you have a daunting task at work that you've never done before, who do you ask for help? Someone who has done it before.
Been thinking about this subject a lot this week. Not for me. I'm in a good spot right now. But two specific cases that are intertwined and ultimately ended in tragedy. And what I could've done differently to help both people.
It’s tricky. We can’t dwell and things we did or didn’t do in the past for our own sake. At the same time though, it’s imperative that we do a Lessons Learned after something happens and we think we could have done things better in an attempt to prevent the same thing happening again.
Why is asking for help more scarier than taking your life?
Until people stop flogging themselves in jobs they hate, and start prioritising their physical and mental health over money... I fear is only gonna get worse.
It’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?
When you break a bone, you don’t think twice about getting help. In fact, it can’t come soon enough.
I think the values instilled in us as kids play a large role too. I was fed the “you need a qualification, money isn’t everything but the more you have the easier your life will be”. At what cost though? I love working hard, it’s brings me contentment, but I think that circles back to a lack of self esteem and working until I’m satisfied within myself that I’ve done enough.
Hopefully it’s a generational shift that’s already happening and each day is a step in the right direction. Hopefully...
I think the shift is happening, as young people aren’t refusing to sign up for old school jobs and a lot have given up the dream of own a home.
Happiness at work I believe is found in a combination of doing work your proud of and having fun.
Yeah I do too. There’s a lot of older people carrying on like the youth are hopeless etc. I disagree. I think we’ve never been in safer hands in reference to these topics. Whenever I speak to kids these days they are so much better adjusted than I was at the same age. Teenagers are are using less substances than ever, they’re environmentally and socially conscious. Hopefully it continues that way.
I think the shift is definitely happening...I think its also on those of us in the workplace who have some work and life experience to think about what signals our own behaviours and work habits have on the younger cohorts coming in. Happiness at work for me has been making sure that people see me as more than my position or my output, but that I have an identity that is not too closely tied to my work. I'm guilty of overworking to meet deadlines, deliver the the thing to a high standard and to not let the team down...but we can also demonstrate that sometimes you need to take your foot off the pedal, finish early, take a sick day if you need one, not just for your physical health but for your mental health too. The trick is how do you strike that balance as a leader of the right level of vulnerability and authenticity while at the same time instilling confidence in your team that 'you got this'. I've struggled with this and I wonder if in some ways showing too much vulnerability has held me back in my career but i wouldnt change it.
Kudos for writing about this really tough topic. I'm definitely not an expert but the only thing I am sure of is that the art of regular talking and communicating with each other has been lost as part of our everyday...modern life has robbed us of the 'cavemans campfire'.
Yeah, It's really tricky. I'm very similar. I don't practice what I preach. I will jump on at home after a long day to finish something off or get something through to someone then tell someone else not to do the same. But I will also tell my boss when I need an arvo off and if I have to I'll explain why. Luckily my work is pretty good, usually they see I do more than I should and are happy to accommodate. I don't know what THE answer is but I think the questions need to be asked to generate conversation. I don't even think there is one answer. I think it we need to be flexible and considerate of peoples individual circumstances. It's tricky but I think that's why managers get paid the extra money. The good ones get better output from their teams not by cracking the whip, but by creating and environment that people want work in. Better off having someone give 80% for 8 hours than 50% for 10.
I don't think any of us but I think it's important to get voices out there, have the conversation and generate ideas. You're right. It's hard to lock everyone in a room and have engaged conversation. I whilst online meetings are very handy and allow that little bit of extra flexibility, I find people in online meetings are less engaged and there is less you can do to draw their attention back from whatever they are doing in the background.