10 Comments

"being the people pleaser that I am"..

Did you know this isn't a fixed trait?

it sounds like you are learning to set boundaries and say no to things and that's great because you'll be showing your son how to set healthy boundaries too :)

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Nah, I didn’t. But it does make sense that it’s something people do when feeling particularly insecure. Like you do it when looking for a little self esteem boost.

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Absolutely. It's a learned survival behaviour :). Being aware of it, is a great starting point to changing it too

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Yeah, like all things. Ya don’t know what ya don’t know. Sometimes I find it frustrating when I establish something I’d like to change or work on but then find myself a little lost as to what to actually do about it. But you’re right, it all starts with that self-awareness

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Something you can chat to your psychologist about some time too :)

I sometimes try and think before I make decisions and ask myself who am I doing this for? Am I doing it because I want to or am I doing it to please someone else.

It's not like behaviour change can happen over night either and even once we do reach the desired change, fatigue and stress will usually result in us going back to our maladaptive behavours.

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Yeah, it’s like we revert back to default when we don’t have the energy to be conscious of what we are doing hey.

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How can you help more people?

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Without overloading myself, that’s the tricky bit. And something I’ll have to think about over the holidays.

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I've realised the more I rely on my routine, the closer I am to burnout

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Yeah, it should never be something you rely on to maintain health, hey? Rather, something you do to value add.

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