Shit Happens

Shitty things are going to happen to us. We need to stop trying to avoid them and learn to deal with them better instead so we can learn, grow and improve.

Mar 16, 2023

Shit Happens.

Sometimes I feel like I have the right to sit here and declare that 2023 so far, has been fuckin’ shit.

I started the year really well. When I returned to work, I struggled with my medication and insomnia, which threw everything out of whack. My whole routine was compromised. My sleep (obviously), exercise, nutrition, and energy were all shit, and it took a month or so to get back into my routine properly.

Once I got back into that routine, I zoned in on some of my running goals for the year. Sunday, the 26th of March, was meant to be a half marathon PB. Sunday, the 16th of April, was meant to be a marathon PB. My final running goal of the year is to complete the Sri Chinmoy Canberra Trail 100k in September. A goal that is still very possible.

Shortly after getting back in the swing of things, I suffered a back injury by, wait for it… standing in my house. I walked over to my computer desk at home, turned, stood and fuckin’ bang! It was like a shot of electricity raced halfway up my spine, split in half and shot out at perfect 90-degree angles to each side of my back, and I was stuck there. Just stood in my house, crouched over like a T-Rex, unable to move.

Actual photo of me in my house hunched over not able to move.

Eventually, I could hobble to the lounge and get myself into an uncomfortable position, but the pain was at least bearable. I went to the doctor the next day to begin the mission of finding out what the fuck happened. less than a week later, I was at work, and I reached forward to fold my laptop down and bang, it happened again.

It turns out I have Pars Defect, and there’s a chance I have had it all my life which would explain the on-again, off-again back issues I’ve had since I was 12 years old. I have a CT scan today to confirm it; after that, I should be able to get an injection to help manage it.

I’ve seen a chiropractor twice weekly for the last four weeks. Between that and the stretching he has given me, it’s starting to improve, and I haven’t had the shooting pain since.

I started to run again a couple of weeks ago, and last week I ran 74 k’s relatively pain-free. My cardio fitness has started to return, and I’m getting closer and closer to the level of fitness I had back in January.

I started getting a slightly sore throat at the start of this week. I’ve been fighting it off all week. I think it’s because of the change of seasons. Although the weather has been nice during the day, the morning temperatures have dropped significantly. Yesterday morning I woke up, and my watch told me I should rest. My Heart Rate Variability was low. My training status was classed as “over-reaching”. My body battery has been low my resting heart rate is up. All bad shit. I decided to run anyway. I didn’t want to lose the fitness improvements of the previous week.

This morning I woke up sick. This bastard-fuck cold has finally started to get the upper hand, and I feel like shit. The metrics mentioned above all read worse today than they did yesterday.

I also woke up this morning to a message that a family friend of 30 years had passed away somewhat unexpectedly.

There’s a part of me that wants to throw an almighty fucking tantrum. Like, “why can’t I just get a decent fucking run at this?”. But I know that won’t be helpful. I know that investing energy in being a whinging asshole will only waste what little energy I have right now.

I also think that having that “why is this happening to me” attitude is super counterproductive. The longer I spent following in the childish misery that tried to engulf me, the longer I delay actually doing something proactive to improve my situation.

Sometimes, things just fucking suck. The facts are, we’re not entitled to a life where we don’t go through difficult shit. Difficult shit is coming for us whether we like it or not. The good thing is we can learn from every shitty thing that’s happened.

I learned not to fuck with my medication. My routine was solid as a rock before I made minor changes to my evening medication. I may have finally found the reason why I’ve struggled with lower back issues for the last 22 years. If this is the real reason, I might be closer to a more permanent solution. I’m learning that I don’t have to run every day. I don’t have to run 74 k’s weekly to keep fit or reach certain running goals. It’s a fucking difficult lesson for me, but incrementally I’m learning to listen to my body and that having some time off doesn’t mean I’m going to go back to being a big, fat lazy prick. I proved this to myself last month when I barely exercised and didn’t put on any weight at all.

Most of all, though, especially after this morning’s news, I’m learning that, ultimately, none of this shit really matters. I’m learning to be grateful for the things that I do have.

I have a healthy family. We have good, secure employment. We live in a perfectly secure and warm house in fucking paradise. What the fuck does a time metric sitting next to a distance metric on a running app even fucking mean?

In the past, I have been guilty of attaching too much importance to things that really aren’t that important. I think the level of negative reaction will always correlate directly with the amount of importance you place on them. I think I need to remember to ask myself, firstly, is your reaction relative to the actual impact this will have on your life, and will it help solve the problem? What matters to me, and will this thing, as shitty as it is, significantly impact those things that matter to me?

I think, more often than not, I will realise that I don’t need to react as dramatically as I have in the past. Yeah, shit sucks sometimes. But how much? How much does it suck, how significant will it affect your day-to-day life, and what are the workarounds?

Things are only as bad as you allow them to be. We need to shift our mindset from trying to avoid shitty things to getting better at navigating them. Shitty things are unavoidable. Overcoming shitty things is what makes us as people. That’s where we grow and improve.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Accepting Feedback

We recently had a guest in the apartment downstairs offer some unsolicited feedback. I’ve attached a snapshot of the email below for full transparency.

The apartment is a three bedroom, two bathroom, 225m2 space. This was the feedback from an elderly lady who booked seven nights for herself and her husband. Not the usual demographic that books. However, we’re obviously happy to accommodate anybody.

My instant reaction to the email was a defensive one. Like, who does this woman think she is? Our ad(s) are clear. We have photos of absolutely everything, and the ad clearly states what the apartment does and doesn’t have. It is in no way misleading or deceptive. So initially, I thought to myself, all this proves is this lady’s inability to read the ad properly.

When she gave us a rating of 8/10 for her stay, I started to think, although odd, maybe this lady is just trying to offer some friendly advice, and maybe I should fucking relax and actually consider what she has to say. Being dismissive of things like this can be a missed opportunity to improve.

She mentioned the flyscreen I had planned on repairing before she checked in but ran out of time. I’d never fixed a fly screen before but was sure it couldn’t be too hard… It was a piece of piss. So easy, in fact, that I was pissed off at myself for not doing it sooner. Something that easy, that made such a big difference in the appearance of the door, made me for the first time, actually agreed with her.

I also realised that a small clothes airer was ridiculous for a space that slept nine people with a washing machine. I knew about this cheap, fold-out clothesline from Bunnings because I put one up on our balcony upstairs too. 21 metres of the line for $59 and the cost of a few dyna-bolts. I’d already put one together, so I knew how easy and quick it was. So I chucked one up down there too.

There has always been a dedicated electrical circuit down there for an oven. It was something that I had wanted to do for some time because all we had down there was a singular plug-in hotplate, an air fryer/small convection oven and a microwave. I just thought a whole fucking oven, which I’d always wanted for down there, might be a little pricey in our current circumstances.

Curiosity got the better of me, though, and I looked up stand-alone ovens on gumtree. I found one for $90 in Shellharbour, just two hours from where I lived. I was shocked at the price, and when I rang the bloke, I had to ask him twice if he was sure it all worked. He told me with certainty that it worked, and he was getting rid of it because he was knocking his house down to build a duplex on his block.

So I raced up and grabbed it, bought it home, made up a power cord for the back of it, changed the wall-mounted GPO (general power outlet) to a 15 amp outlet, plugged it in, turned it on, and it worked first go (all with the help of an electrician friend of mine, of course). You fuckin’ beauty.

So, what the fuck is the point of all this? The point is I (we) should face feedback/criticism with an open mind. Whether good or bad,m there is always an opportunity to learn, grow and improve when we consider feedback or criticism. Sure, it’s fucking hard to hear that something you’ve worked so hard on isn’t perfect and could be better. It’s easy for a well-to-do retiree to tell us we must spend thousands of dollars improving our space to her standards.

But when I could look at her suggestions with an open mind and think about which of them I could act on quickly, cheaply and make significant improvements all at the same time, I ended up with a whole proper clothesline, a repaired fl screen (and learned a new skill) and a whole ass working fucking oven all for under $200 and a few hours of work!

Something that initially gave me the shits that I took personally and allowed me to get in my feelings has resulted in significant yet easy and affordable improvements to the apartment.

Open your mind to criticism. In fact, look and ask for feedback. Try to put your feelings aside and actually listen to the words. There are opportunities to improve everywhere once you start looking for them.

So to this well-to-do, opinionated, unsolicited feedback-giving, lovely lady, thank you. I am grateful for your advice, and hopefully, one day, you’ll return and give me a nice little bum pat, tell me good job and load up my ego.

Cheers Wankers.

Shit Happens

Shitty things are going to happen to us. We need to stop trying to avoid them and learn to deal with them better instead so we can learn, grow and improve.

Shit Happens.

Accepting Feedback

Discussion about this post