That part was a long time ago but I was starting to feel similar things even 15 months ago. I dunno how I navigated it the first time, I think I winged it a fair bit. The key thing I wish was different would just be having a greater understanding of why I felt the way I was. I’m glad it happened, even happier it’s over.
“I think most, but not all, cases of addiction are simply people who haven’t learned or built healthy coping mechanisms and fall victim to a vice to help them cope.” - I think all, but what’s an example of this not being the case?
There’s some cases of people getting addicted to prescription medications, particularly opiates, after medical issues etc. I mostly agree with you, I just didn’t want to make such a strong claim because there are some outliers out there.
I should add to this that growing up in the UK I went to school in the “sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” era. Then as a teenager and young adult in northern England, drinking was about the only social activity there was. It’s much better now but back then, I’m not kidding, going to the pub was how people socialised. Or the park with bottles of cider if too young for the pub. Not doing that would make a person a social pariah. And we all know that drinking regularly for long enough changes the brains neurological pathways and will most likely lead to some level of dependence or addiction at some point. It’s a cultural thing where I’m from, not just a crutch.
That’s very similar to what Australia was like when I was growing up too. Most of my mates parents drank every day. Family dinner nights out where at the pub/club. Me and my mates first drank at 13 years old. Told our parents we were sleeping at a mates place and just went to the playground, into the bush, someone’s house who’s parents were away etc.
I am so happy culture has changed so much. That people are allowed to admit and discuss their mental health challenges. And so many young people don’t drink!! Now we just need to smash the stigma around addiction!
It's definitely the culture in Australia too. I tried to engage in drinking behaviours because everyone else did but Ive never been into drinking to get drunk or drinking for the sake of it. I felt like I didn't fit in because It's not what Im interested in. Alcohol is a huge part of social culture. Im surprised how big it is in sporting culture too. Player gets presented with game debut cap post match and is handed a beer to scull, regardless of whether they want to or not. It's not just the players engaging in it too. Having just returned from travelling with a team overseas, some of the staff would drink every night of the trip, not just one beer to wind down at the end of the day either. I find the alcohol culture fascinating. I think its shifting, you see headlines of school leavers opting for alcohol free holidays or coastal chills with their mates instead of schoolies benders, I hope it continues.
Yeah even in local sports, every week they go back to the club for presentation and player of the match from each grade is expected to skull a beer.
It’s interesting you mention modern schoolies. We had a group of 8 stay in the apartment down stairs last December and I was a bit worried about how it would go. But they barely made a noise, left the place spotless, had bugger all empties and were respectful every time they interacted with us. One of the best groups we’ve had.
Apparently young people (18-25 or whatever) drink and do drugs much less than almost all generations before them. So hopefully we’re seeing the start of that cultural shift.
By no means am I anti-drinking. I just think the way we do it here, it’s more damaging than it is productive/constructive.
I think this is taking a bit of a simplistic view. There are many reasons why people become addicts.
Definitely a lot of people turn to substances because they don’t have healthy coping mechanisms, there’s no disputing that.
My case in point. You know how people say that heroin can have you addicted from the first time you try it, even if it makes you disgustingly sick? That was me, but with alcohol. The first time I felt the effects of mild intoxication I was HOOKED. Like it flipped a dormant gene or the chemicals in the alcohol activated something highly sensitive in my brain. That first time, I drank everything I could get my hands on.
I puked, I fell down the stairs, I couldn’t stand up, I blacked out (no memory of any of it) and woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. In retrospect know I was an addict from day one. I was 13 years old.
I also didn’t have healthy coping mechanisms. I was emotionally neglected and psychologically bullied at home and didn’t have anyone to teach me any life skills.
I think I was an easy target for alcohol to find a victim in, BUT I can’t deny that feeling of pure desire/NEED for more from the first time I felt what alcohol could do.
I don’t think it should be counted out just because it’s simplistic. A lot of people want to feel special and that their struggle is unique, when the reality is we are all human. But what is unique however is our paths in life.
Everyone’s struggle IS unique but at the same time there are plenty of experiences within our struggle that are similar to others’ experiences. The more share, the more we understand each other, and the more empathy we have for each other
I wasn’t implying that it should be counted out at all. I just meant that I felt personally that there’s a lot more in play than a lack of healthy coping mechanisms.
“I wasn’t addicted… enough”. - totally agree and I hear a lot of people complain about their life. But I know they won’t change until things get so bad, that they have no choice but to change.
Yeah, I think people have to hit their own rock bottom, for sure. But I do think if people had a greater understanding of what was truly driving their behaviour their own rock bottom mightn’t have to be such a low place. I just know that I wish I spoke to someone about how hard I was finding it a little sooner because of the damage I risked doing the relationships I have with the people who matter the most.
“All I wanted to do was feel as far removed as possible from the stresses of my day-to-day life.” - I feel sad reading this
That part was a long time ago but I was starting to feel similar things even 15 months ago. I dunno how I navigated it the first time, I think I winged it a fair bit. The key thing I wish was different would just be having a greater understanding of why I felt the way I was. I’m glad it happened, even happier it’s over.
“ I can see that I have never had enough healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress.” - very insightful mate and a lot of people don’t realise this
“I think most, but not all, cases of addiction are simply people who haven’t learned or built healthy coping mechanisms and fall victim to a vice to help them cope.” - I think all, but what’s an example of this not being the case?
There’s some cases of people getting addicted to prescription medications, particularly opiates, after medical issues etc. I mostly agree with you, I just didn’t want to make such a strong claim because there are some outliers out there.
I think the thing with opiates is the physical addiction/withdrawal process adds another level to the challenge of beating the addiction.
I should add to this that growing up in the UK I went to school in the “sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” era. Then as a teenager and young adult in northern England, drinking was about the only social activity there was. It’s much better now but back then, I’m not kidding, going to the pub was how people socialised. Or the park with bottles of cider if too young for the pub. Not doing that would make a person a social pariah. And we all know that drinking regularly for long enough changes the brains neurological pathways and will most likely lead to some level of dependence or addiction at some point. It’s a cultural thing where I’m from, not just a crutch.
That’s very similar to what Australia was like when I was growing up too. Most of my mates parents drank every day. Family dinner nights out where at the pub/club. Me and my mates first drank at 13 years old. Told our parents we were sleeping at a mates place and just went to the playground, into the bush, someone’s house who’s parents were away etc.
Ps did not mean to come across as critical. Just adding to the discussion as I feel like one of those outliers.
Have you read Chasing The Scream by Englands own Johann Hari?
I am so happy culture has changed so much. That people are allowed to admit and discuss their mental health challenges. And so many young people don’t drink!! Now we just need to smash the stigma around addiction!
Yeah it’s definitely the direction we want to be heading and I think the non-confrontational/non-direct nature of online forums helps with that a lot.
It's definitely the culture in Australia too. I tried to engage in drinking behaviours because everyone else did but Ive never been into drinking to get drunk or drinking for the sake of it. I felt like I didn't fit in because It's not what Im interested in. Alcohol is a huge part of social culture. Im surprised how big it is in sporting culture too. Player gets presented with game debut cap post match and is handed a beer to scull, regardless of whether they want to or not. It's not just the players engaging in it too. Having just returned from travelling with a team overseas, some of the staff would drink every night of the trip, not just one beer to wind down at the end of the day either. I find the alcohol culture fascinating. I think its shifting, you see headlines of school leavers opting for alcohol free holidays or coastal chills with their mates instead of schoolies benders, I hope it continues.
Yeah even in local sports, every week they go back to the club for presentation and player of the match from each grade is expected to skull a beer.
It’s interesting you mention modern schoolies. We had a group of 8 stay in the apartment down stairs last December and I was a bit worried about how it would go. But they barely made a noise, left the place spotless, had bugger all empties and were respectful every time they interacted with us. One of the best groups we’ve had.
Apparently young people (18-25 or whatever) drink and do drugs much less than almost all generations before them. So hopefully we’re seeing the start of that cultural shift.
By no means am I anti-drinking. I just think the way we do it here, it’s more damaging than it is productive/constructive.
I'm not anti drinking either but like you, I think the culture is toxic.
Generally speaking we are an emotionally supressed society self soothing with drugs, alcohol and anything that helps us disassociate from reality.
I think this is taking a bit of a simplistic view. There are many reasons why people become addicts.
Definitely a lot of people turn to substances because they don’t have healthy coping mechanisms, there’s no disputing that.
My case in point. You know how people say that heroin can have you addicted from the first time you try it, even if it makes you disgustingly sick? That was me, but with alcohol. The first time I felt the effects of mild intoxication I was HOOKED. Like it flipped a dormant gene or the chemicals in the alcohol activated something highly sensitive in my brain. That first time, I drank everything I could get my hands on.
I puked, I fell down the stairs, I couldn’t stand up, I blacked out (no memory of any of it) and woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. In retrospect know I was an addict from day one. I was 13 years old.
I also didn’t have healthy coping mechanisms. I was emotionally neglected and psychologically bullied at home and didn’t have anyone to teach me any life skills.
I think I was an easy target for alcohol to find a victim in, BUT I can’t deny that feeling of pure desire/NEED for more from the first time I felt what alcohol could do.
I don’t think it should be counted out just because it’s simplistic. A lot of people want to feel special and that their struggle is unique, when the reality is we are all human. But what is unique however is our paths in life.
Everyone’s struggle IS unique but at the same time there are plenty of experiences within our struggle that are similar to others’ experiences. The more share, the more we understand each other, and the more empathy we have for each other
I wasn’t implying that it should be counted out at all. I just meant that I felt personally that there’s a lot more in play than a lack of healthy coping mechanisms.
“I wasn’t addicted… enough”. - totally agree and I hear a lot of people complain about their life. But I know they won’t change until things get so bad, that they have no choice but to change.
Yeah, I think people have to hit their own rock bottom, for sure. But I do think if people had a greater understanding of what was truly driving their behaviour their own rock bottom mightn’t have to be such a low place. I just know that I wish I spoke to someone about how hard I was finding it a little sooner because of the damage I risked doing the relationships I have with the people who matter the most.
Agreed, but they won’t slow down to reflect until they are in so much pain that they have no other choice