I saw this behaviour in one of my role model who never miss running wherever he goes.
I felt amazed your gap filling task list which I am missing and being a procrastinator without any addictions. May be I need to find way to do the task which I kept postponing.
They say that procrastinating is avoiding thoughts you that make you uncomfortable. The hard part is figuring out which ones. We become so good at it that we don’t even know we’re doing it! We all do it mate, don’t be too hard on yourself. I find to-do lists and pomodoro timers help a lot!
“The scary thing about this more significant near-miss I had is that I still can’t figure out why it happened” - could it be because deep down there’s still a part of you that cares what others think? So when your where in an environment where you stood out (because of not drinking) that part of your brain kicked in?
Quite possibly. I think I’ll always have a tiny bit of that. I think almost all of us will. But I’ve been in similar situations before and I didn’t have a drama. The only difference was the geographical location.
Yeah, the strength our environment has to affect our choices is insane. Physically, we are the exact same person. Same brain and everything. I suppose that’s where you need good self-awareness and presence to keep it all together irrelevant of the situation.
I’d like to think that I would get straight back up, but I know from the past sometimes I struggle to get going again for a little while. Usually a day off exercising turns into a few days off etc.
I do know however that my life is infotech better, sober, and I don’t think it would take me too long to want to get back to that place.
That's fair enough, it's great there are options for all people.
It's something you'd never think you would miss right? Like yesss I don't have to think of what to cook or cook or grocery shop and then you're like maaaan if only I could go cook some fresh food.
Although I didn't miss cooking while I was away haha, but it think with the dining hall type thing we had you had a few different options and dished up your food yourself. Sometimes when you dine out all the time, meals often don't have enough veges so you end up craving them. That and fresh fruit. I think the effort of going out for dinner can be a bit much too, sometimes you just want to lounge in your PJs after a big day haha
They had plenty of food delivery services over there and initially I was eating a fair bit of takeaway style stuff but that gradually changed to wraps, poke bowls and smoothies by the end haha. It’s like your body is telling you it needs something more nutritious.
The laundry service in Asia is incredible though. Some of my clothes they washed have been reworn and I swear they’re still creased.
Is non alcoholic beer an option for you Sam? or do you fear it may want you to drink a real one?
I know that non alcoholic beverages have been a game changer for a lot of people especially in social situations. (because nothing beats a cold beer on a hot day right!?)
Well done on getting through it though :)
It's funny how we look forward to not having to cook and clean for a bit but then we sometimes find ourselves missing being able to do those things when we can't do them.
I tried it when I first got sober and something about it felt weird. I guess because I always drank for the effect of the alcohol and not the taste or to just enjoy it, it seems like a waste to me. More specifically a waste of calories and money. I think it might be a little too similar to the real thing for me. I’m the kinda person who either has it or doesn’t. For the most part I’m fine without it but certainly something I could go to in the future if needed, much like that can of coke!
I’ve seen other people have great success with it though. I think it’s a great thing for a diverse range of people and I’m glad to see so many companies coming out with their own range. Less rink driving, healthier and less socially awkward for those not wanting to drink.
Funny you mention that. We had a villa with a a seperate family room but no kitchen or kitchenette. After a week or so we were saying how nice it would be to go and buy some fresh food and cook our own dinner haha. Definitely getting a kitchenette next time!
Amazing work Sam staying sober! Weddings are a scary place for addicts to be. Not sure what it is about them exactly but you sure have to keep your guard up at them! You did it! Awesome work keeping your healthy habits on track while away too 👊🏼 Glad you had such a great holiday and managed to fight off the cravings not once, but twice!
It’s funny, I went to a wedding in March and was fine, but this one was very different. I guess instead of trying to figure out why they were different I should just understand that I can never get complacent.
I think that’s the key takeaway here - we can never get complacent. Even 10.5 years in I will never let myself get complacent. Occasionally I hear of someone who’s had 10, 20 years of sobriety and they’ve drunk again and never made it back. That makes me sick to the stomach.
I know you said you shouldn’t worry about the differences between the weddings but maybe it was something to do with this one being a smaller more intimate affair and your insecurities about standing out in a smaller crowd by not drinking. Much less likely to be noticed as a non drinker in a large crowd.
I always think it’s funny that I’m scared too that people will gossip about why I’m not drinking and assume it’s because I have a drinking problem. Funny because, yeah I do have a drinking problem and they would be right if they came to that conclusion and yet I don’t want them to come to that conclusion 🤦🏼♀️😭😂
And I know you know this but the only people who have a problem with you not drinking are the people who have a problem with drinking.
So glad there were more people there who would have problem with you if you did drink. That’s a wonderful benefit about not keeping this sh*t a secret!
Yeah you’re spot on about complacency. It has no place.
Yeah, maybe I’ll have a think about the differences between the two. Size is definitely a massive difference with these two in particular. Maybe later on it’ll make more sense to me.
I often remind myself that humans don’t care about us and what we do as much as we think they do, and it’s a good thing. And as you said, if they do care, that’s more about them than you!
You’re right, I hadn’t thought about how lucky I was to be with people who were supportive of my sobriety. If someone there had have said “go on, have a drink, you’ve earned it” it might’ve been the straw that broke the camels back!
Another great read Sam. Near misses are still misses. Good on you.
Cheers Joshy!
Wow. You were so good to maintain the healthy lifestyle and won your thoughts against drinks.
Thanks mate, the more positive stuff I do the easier it is!
I saw this behaviour in one of my role model who never miss running wherever he goes.
I felt amazed your gap filling task list which I am missing and being a procrastinator without any addictions. May be I need to find way to do the task which I kept postponing.
They say that procrastinating is avoiding thoughts you that make you uncomfortable. The hard part is figuring out which ones. We become so good at it that we don’t even know we’re doing it! We all do it mate, don’t be too hard on yourself. I find to-do lists and pomodoro timers help a lot!
“The scary thing about this more significant near-miss I had is that I still can’t figure out why it happened” - could it be because deep down there’s still a part of you that cares what others think? So when your where in an environment where you stood out (because of not drinking) that part of your brain kicked in?
Quite possibly. I think I’ll always have a tiny bit of that. I think almost all of us will. But I’ve been in similar situations before and I didn’t have a drama. The only difference was the geographical location.
It’s crazy what an environment can do to our brain
Yeah, the strength our environment has to affect our choices is insane. Physically, we are the exact same person. Same brain and everything. I suppose that’s where you need good self-awareness and presence to keep it all together irrelevant of the situation.
If one of the buffalo’s did knock you over, do you think you would get yourself back up on to your feet? Or just stay lying face down in the dirt?
I’d like to think that I would get straight back up, but I know from the past sometimes I struggle to get going again for a little while. Usually a day off exercising turns into a few days off etc.
I do know however that my life is infotech better, sober, and I don’t think it would take me too long to want to get back to that place.
That's fair enough, it's great there are options for all people.
It's something you'd never think you would miss right? Like yesss I don't have to think of what to cook or cook or grocery shop and then you're like maaaan if only I could go cook some fresh food.
Although I didn't miss cooking while I was away haha, but it think with the dining hall type thing we had you had a few different options and dished up your food yourself. Sometimes when you dine out all the time, meals often don't have enough veges so you end up craving them. That and fresh fruit. I think the effort of going out for dinner can be a bit much too, sometimes you just want to lounge in your PJs after a big day haha
They had plenty of food delivery services over there and initially I was eating a fair bit of takeaway style stuff but that gradually changed to wraps, poke bowls and smoothies by the end haha. It’s like your body is telling you it needs something more nutritious.
The laundry service in Asia is incredible though. Some of my clothes they washed have been reworn and I swear they’re still creased.
Is non alcoholic beer an option for you Sam? or do you fear it may want you to drink a real one?
I know that non alcoholic beverages have been a game changer for a lot of people especially in social situations. (because nothing beats a cold beer on a hot day right!?)
Well done on getting through it though :)
It's funny how we look forward to not having to cook and clean for a bit but then we sometimes find ourselves missing being able to do those things when we can't do them.
I tried it when I first got sober and something about it felt weird. I guess because I always drank for the effect of the alcohol and not the taste or to just enjoy it, it seems like a waste to me. More specifically a waste of calories and money. I think it might be a little too similar to the real thing for me. I’m the kinda person who either has it or doesn’t. For the most part I’m fine without it but certainly something I could go to in the future if needed, much like that can of coke!
I’ve seen other people have great success with it though. I think it’s a great thing for a diverse range of people and I’m glad to see so many companies coming out with their own range. Less rink driving, healthier and less socially awkward for those not wanting to drink.
Funny you mention that. We had a villa with a a seperate family room but no kitchen or kitchenette. After a week or so we were saying how nice it would be to go and buy some fresh food and cook our own dinner haha. Definitely getting a kitchenette next time!
Amazing work Sam staying sober! Weddings are a scary place for addicts to be. Not sure what it is about them exactly but you sure have to keep your guard up at them! You did it! Awesome work keeping your healthy habits on track while away too 👊🏼 Glad you had such a great holiday and managed to fight off the cravings not once, but twice!
That’s something to be very proud of!
Thanks so much, Kate!
It’s funny, I went to a wedding in March and was fine, but this one was very different. I guess instead of trying to figure out why they were different I should just understand that I can never get complacent.
I think that’s the key takeaway here - we can never get complacent. Even 10.5 years in I will never let myself get complacent. Occasionally I hear of someone who’s had 10, 20 years of sobriety and they’ve drunk again and never made it back. That makes me sick to the stomach.
I know you said you shouldn’t worry about the differences between the weddings but maybe it was something to do with this one being a smaller more intimate affair and your insecurities about standing out in a smaller crowd by not drinking. Much less likely to be noticed as a non drinker in a large crowd.
I always think it’s funny that I’m scared too that people will gossip about why I’m not drinking and assume it’s because I have a drinking problem. Funny because, yeah I do have a drinking problem and they would be right if they came to that conclusion and yet I don’t want them to come to that conclusion 🤦🏼♀️😭😂
And I know you know this but the only people who have a problem with you not drinking are the people who have a problem with drinking.
So glad there were more people there who would have problem with you if you did drink. That’s a wonderful benefit about not keeping this sh*t a secret!
Yeah you’re spot on about complacency. It has no place.
Yeah, maybe I’ll have a think about the differences between the two. Size is definitely a massive difference with these two in particular. Maybe later on it’ll make more sense to me.
I often remind myself that humans don’t care about us and what we do as much as we think they do, and it’s a good thing. And as you said, if they do care, that’s more about them than you!
You’re right, I hadn’t thought about how lucky I was to be with people who were supportive of my sobriety. If someone there had have said “go on, have a drink, you’ve earned it” it might’ve been the straw that broke the camels back!