14 Comments
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Ben Alexander's avatar

It sounds like your son has given you purpose. Did you have purpose before him?

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Sam Wilson's avatar

I honestly don’t think I did.

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Clare Carey's avatar

Offfft good question!

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Clare Carey's avatar

I think the genetic component is marginal and our environment is 99% what determines our susceptibility to addiction and mental state.

People look to genetics or biology because it's easier to focus on rather than delving into self development and assessing our environments (which generally means we need to recognise that improves could be made).

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Ben Alexander's avatar

Couldn’t agree more and a lot of parents want to believe bad habits for dealing with stress are genetic, because that way they don’t blame themselves as there’s nothing that can be done.

But in reality it’s their habits for how their dealing with stress that kids observe and copy, and therefore passed down. Not genetics.

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Clare Carey's avatar

Absolutely! It's not about blame. Mistakes are part of life, it's when we ignore the opportunity to learn and grow from it that the cycle continues.

It's one of the big problems with medical labeling. Behaviour is blamed on the condition rather than used to help form strategies to assist with management, growth and learning.

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Ben Alexander's avatar

Sorry, it’s not about blame, it’s about accepting responsibility. Because only after we accept responsibility for our situation and actions, do we start improving them

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Clare Carey's avatar

💯

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Sam Wilson's avatar

We can’t solve a Robles we don’t believe we have.

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Sam Wilson's avatar

Yep, genetics are objective. Too many variables in environmental factors to truly assess the exact impact each different one has or how much each one contributes to the problem.

I think this a great thing because we can change environments. Genetics not so much.

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Clare Carey's avatar

I don't think we need to know the weighting of each factor. Awareness of toxic culture is often enough to make changes. We live in a society that prioritises wealth. More families have both parents who work, which means they are spending less time with their kids. Are we really that surprised to see an increase in depression and ADD? Not just in children but adults too?

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Sam Wilson's avatar

We also live further away from our families. We’re always seeking something more, different or better so we move away from those we care about thinking it’ll be better.

I moved to the coast because I’d have a better work life balance in this role and wanted to be home more for Sonny, plus it’s pretty nice here. But I’m not around the corner from mum and dad anymore, which is difficult given they’re not far off their 70’s.

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Ben Alexander's avatar

Thanks for the shout out mate and glad you enjoyed it.

Re: not being able to look far into the future, it’s important to note that Lembke said that “high level thinking” is done by the prefrontal cortex. A part of the brain that never gets used if the fight or flight part is always in charge.

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Sam Wilson's avatar

This is why I want to listen to it a second time. I missed this and probably other nuggets.

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