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Oh gosh! How we stitch ourselves up by assumptions. We're all guilty of it too. Assuming we are a bother or that people won't want to talk to us or that people don't notice us. I still remember in year 12, we did an exercise at retreat where we all had envelopes with our names on the wall and our class mates could slip in a nice note to us over the 3 days. I remember being surprised by the people I received notes from and the compliments they gave me. I still have those notes too. I stuck them all over my wardrobe at home and they stayed there until I moved out at the age of 28 haha.

It's hard when the memory of the last time we saw someone is what we remember of the person. I think your relative would love to see you and Sonny. Babies are so joyful to be around and I feel Sonny will take away the discomfort of this situation. I don't think you're emotionally lazy. It sounds like it's the fear of the unknown or the fear of the state she will be in that is holding you back. It's hard seeing anyone suffer, but even more so the people that we love.

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Yeah, I'm fuckin' terrible for it. I get this "it's my problem, not there's" mind set some times. Super unhealthy. In relation to your school story, I think people have a fear of saying kind things to people. Like they think it might make things awkward or similar. I know myself I have been a position where I want to compliment someone but don't want to come across as a weirdo. haha.

Yeah, I think it's down to circumstance and personal choice. At the moment the word is she is pretty overwhelmed with everyone visiting and asking questions so I dunno. I'll just consider the advice of family and trust my gut, I think. If i regret my choice, at the very least i can say that I did what I believed was best at the time.

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Great to hear the anxiety and feelings of low self are slowly easing. Keep going.

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Small, consistent, sustainable changes or something...

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