Week 7
Direct copy and paste from Twitter
1x7x7. That’s me trying to be trendy and cool instead of just saying I’ve been sober for 7, whole, northerns, fucking, weeks. So, another week passes, another opportunity for me to tell everyone who didn’t ask, how I felt this week. In me feelin’s.
Things are getting better this week, again. As they should be. I’m still working really hard. It’s tough, though. Exhausting at times. I kinda feel like I need to be “on” all the time. Like I’m one poor, split second decision away from undoing all my hard work over this last
Someone great advice, that you aren’t capable of taking yourself. I spend so much time in my own head. I’m almost constantly have internal conflict over something. More often than not, it’s trivial bullshit, that ultimately doesn’t matter. In this case, I can usually brush it.
My routine is very, very slowly, putting myself into a better position to handle it then I was in yesterday. I’m kind of at the point now where I’m gaining more and more confidence in myself, which is great! It comes with risk though. The risk being complacency. I’m starting to
Catch myself thinking all the hard work is already done. I can relax a little. Maybe sleep in a bit more. Go to the pub for an arvo with my mates. Be home by 8. (PM, you cheeky cunts). Go another 7 weeks sober. Easy. My mate asked me the other day if I’m gunna have a farewell
Before moving to the coast in July. It’s the last fucking thing I want to do. I wanna see my mates and whatever. But I hate attention. I hate making a big deal out of insignificant shit. I’m moving 1.5 hours away. Who gives a shit. I did however think, “fuck it, maybe I should”
Maybe I should at least catch up with my mates before I go. Give it a good old nudge. For old time sake. What’s the worst that could happen? Don’t answer that… I don’t want to though. I think the problem is, I don’t know what else to do with my mates. Which is fine.
They’re great guys. I wouldn’t be mates with shit guys. He even remarked on how well I’m doing and that he’s stoked for me. No name calling or peer pressuring me to get back on the’orse. I appreciated that. I don’t think I need to find new things to do with these mates.
They’re my mates. I think I just need a little longer. I think I’m at that merky point now where maybe the initial motivation is waining. The confidence I’ve gained over the last seven weeks or so could give me a false sense of security. I’m not really sure where I’m going here
But I think I’m fucking terrified of complacency. Again, I have internal conflict. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, relax. You’ll make it harder by being high strung”. “Nah, fuck that. Be high strung, it’s worked so far, it’ll keep working.” It’s unrelenting. I think that’s
Why I started with the 1 in the 1x7x7 at the start here. As cliche as it sounds, it truly is, one day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute, one second. Ya just gotta get from here, to just over there. Once ya get there, reassess and go again. The key, I believe, is to
Simplify. One step at a time. How to eat an elephant type shit. Focus on what you’re doing now. Right now. Nothing else. Do it well and do it properly. Don’t rush. Breath. That’s what I think helps. Break shit down. Small manageable pieces. Do them slowly. So it’s easy.
Life is hard enough already. We don’t need to make it harder. Be kind. To others. But importantly, to yourselves. I’m tired, not sure any of that made any sense. But I done give a shit. 7 weeks sober. Tomorrow is 50 days! I’m doing better than yesty, better than last week.
So get that India, Wankers!
Kidding.