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Ben Alexander's avatar

Grieving about lost past moments detracts from the enjoyment of present ones

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Sam Wilson's avatar

I’m choosing to use it to motivate me to make sure I waste as little time as possible while they’re so young and constantly evolving. I only grieve that their past selves are gone because I love the little arseholes so much.

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Clare Carey's avatar

oh Hi Sam! :) :)

Have you listened to the Imperfects Episode with Christian O'Connell (No one Listens to your dads show?) He talks about this. How you never know when you're doing something with your kid for the last time. The last time they hold your hand, last time they let you walk them into school etc.

I don't have children yet, but I feel the same with my nieces and nephews. Time is the greatest gift I can give them and that's what I try to do.

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Sam Wilson's avatar

Hey Clare 🙋🏽‍♂️

I haven’t, but I have listened to (most of) his book. I’ll track down the podcast and have a listen.

He’s spot on by the sounds of things, though. Even at almost three there’s been so many lasts for Sonny already. But the beauty in it is that every time he does something for the last time, it makes space for the new things he’s about to do for the first time.

I’m probably just a bit soft, if I noticed flicking through old photos my phone reminded me of the other day that I just miss him so damn much, which is such an odd thing to say about someone still very much alive. I just don’t know any other way to describe it.

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Clare Carey's avatar

Oh actually. Maybe it was his book I was thinking of, which I got after I listened to the podcast. But he also talks about his kids and family in the imperfects episode too. Both were great though.

I don't think you're soft at all. Its people like you that help other men express their emotions around growth and change and women like me who create the space and safety for that expression. We need more of both :).

I miss the baby stage. Just cuddling them while they sleep and take naps haha. Zoe has so much energy and its hard to keep up sometimes, but I love learning from her and I love holding space for her in a way that I never had growing up. I feel like I'm learning and growing with her.

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Sam Wilson's avatar

Thanks, Clare. That’s awfully kind of you to say. I agree.

That’s how ya fall into the trap of having more 🤦🏽‍♂️ remember all the good things, forget all the bad things, and miss the little things they did once upon a time.

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