48 Weeks of Sobriety- The Sober XI
I passed 11 months of sobriety this week. So I thought I'd share the 11 people who have inspired me most and some links to some content that might help others.
Today I have been sober for 48 weeks. 336 days
Sobriety
Yesterday my partner and son took off to Queensland for a week to go to a family birthday. When you have a baby, everyone wants to see it. So, what better way to do it than when everyone is in the same place at one time? Sadly, I couldn’t go. Work is busy. Disposable income is scarce, and I have Airbnb guests checking out and in on the same day later in the week.
The timing couldn’t be worse. I’ve been under the pump at work over the last couple of weeks organising an interstate trip for my crew. Getting shit organised in an unfamiliar area, with no relationships with any local contractors, has been stressful. In my role, I do all my work before the team does theirs. Yesterday was the day that not only my family took off, but so did my crew. So whilst it’s a relief to finally have this work underway, it fucking sucks that over the last couple of weeks, while my family have been home, I’ve been super fucking busy, and the day they go away is the day my work settles down a little. Always the fucking way, right?
It fucking sucks. I was pretty upset yesterday when they left. I know it’s great for him and my partner to visit family. With her being on maternity leave, there’s no real reason for them not to go. I know I’m selfish in wishing they wouldn’t have gone, and I never want to be the guy that expects them to stay home while I work just because I want them sitting here when I walk in the door each day. I want what’s best for them, even if, at times, that’s not what’s best for me in the short term.
I spent some time thinking about whether I was being selfish for being upset. I don’t want my partner to feel bad for doing something for herself. I tried to hide my distress from her, but I was fucking terrible at it. Then I pulled my own head in.
Of course, I was upset. My family unit is something I have leant on very heavily throughout my sobriety, especially since my son was born seven months ago. He changes so much, so quickly. Although only a week, he will be a different kid when he returns. He will have more hair, might pick up a new word or two, and there’s a good chance he’ll crawl properly for the first time while he’s away.
My brain started suggesting some real dumb fucking shit. Like, “what if he thinks I don’t care that we’re apart” or “what if he thinks I didn’t want to come and don’t want to be there with him'“. logically I know that his stupid, mushy little seven-month-old brain isn’t capable of such complex emotional thoughts, but still, these thoughts come to me, and whilst they piss me off, I know I can’t do anything about them other than just let them be.
He is the greatest thing to ever come into my life and has helped me so much more than he will probably ever understand. I fucking love coming home each afternoon and watching his face as he realises I’m home and then cracks that adorable ear-to-ear smile. It’s my favourite part of the day. So yeah, of course, I’m fucking sad that he and my partner are gone for the next week. I realised a bigger issue would be if I weren’t sad they were gone.
I realised that there wasn’t actually anything wrong with me and that I was feeling exactly how I should have been feeling.
I was at home yesterday, not knowing what to do. Being the ADHD?OCD maniac I am; I had a list of shit written down that I needed to get done and exactly zero motivation to do any of them. For a fleeting moment, I thought it was time to drink. It wasn’t a craving, more just an old habit dying hard. In the past, whenever I found myself alone, be it at home or in a motel for work, I would just drink.
I used to think to myself it was because I just enjoyed having a quiet drink on my own. It was cathartic. Finally, I could have some quiet, both externally and internally. As I incrementally started being more honest with myself, I realised or thought I realised, that I did it because I was a little anxious being on my own and that drinking would ensure that I got a half-decent sleep, sleep being something I’ve always struggled with, especially when alone with my thoughts. That’s when I realised the real reason why I would always drink when I was alone was for no other reason but to escape from my thoughts.
So here I am writing about how I feel to hopefully get the shit out of my head and free up some mental bandwidth because what I do have over the next week is an opportunity to smash through some shit I’ve had on the backburner without having to change nappies, do pram-laps around the block to get him to sleep or shove spoonfuls of yogurt and mashed pumpkin into his face.
In the meantime, thank fuck for FaceTime.
The Sober XI
I was talking to a mate recently, and he told me he was trying to abstain from alcohol and that he had only had four beers this year. He’s a hard-working tradie who spends long days in the sun in the Queensland heat. He told me that the evenings after a long day at work were the hardest for him. he asked if I could recommend any podcasts to help him shift his mind around drinking.
Initially, I told him I don’t listen to sobriety podcasts or books. Then I realised that, of course, I fuckin’ do, often though they’re disguised as running podcasts or similar.
Then I thought, if I’m going to compile a list of content for him to sift through, I should share it with everyone else in the hope that it could help more than just my one mate.
Given that I’ve just passed 11 months of sobriety, I thought I’d share the eleven people I found the most inspirational in recovery. It’s a bit of a cricket theme which is stupid because most of the people on the list wouldn’t know anything about cricket. But with that said, I don’t think any of them will read this anyway.
There are a whole lot of Hollywood A-listers who are well-known for their sobriety. People like Eminem, Tom Hardy, Robert Downey Jnr and Rob Lowe, to name a few. But with the greatest respect, fuck those guys. They don’t really do it for me.
I’m will load this up with links to podcasts, audiobooks, social media accounts and the like so that, hopefully, someone out there finds something below that could help them the way these people have helped me.
So here is my All-Star Sober XI.
11. Tyson “The Gypsy King” Fury
Fury is the current WBC heavyweight champion. He previously held the united WBA (super), IBF, WBO, IBO and The Ring Magazine titles.
I was hesitant to put Fury on the list. Only because I can’t find anything that says he is definitely sober. Just a recent, vague report where he states he is no longer drinking.
But I wanted to have him in the XI because his story is one I think people should hear.
In 2016, he struggled with alcohol and cocaine addiction, gained a lot of weight, and was declared unfit to fight, leading to losing his titles. He later applied and received his boxing license in 2018 after seeking medical help.
There are thousands of pieces of content on Fury on the internet, most of which are brilliant.
He’s also written three great books. I recommend all of them, but Behind The Mask is by far my favourite.
10. Matthew Perry
Most will know him as Chandler Bing from the TV show Friends. I was never a huge fan of the show itself, and it was only early this year that I learned about Perry’s lifelong battles with prescription drugs and alcohol through his book Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing.
Perry has done the talk show rounds (presumable podcasts, too) to promote his book, where he opens up about his struggles and how his addiction almost and should have killed him.
Strongly recommend the book.
9. Theo Von
Theo Von is an idiot… I’m kidding. Theo Von is a comedian who has been on the circuit for almost 20 years. Unless you’ve lived under a rock, you would have seen random, stupid, funny clips of Theo popping up all over the internet.
Initially, I thought Theo was just a random, shit-talking comedian until I stumbled across his podcast This Past weekend and discovered he’s been sober for about the same amount of time as me after battling various addictions. Theo is quite emotionally intelligent. He opens himself up to vulnerability by openly discussing his mental health battles.
Theo’s unique humour makes it much easier to digest the content, which can sometimes touch on some fairly serious issues.
8. Russel Brand
If you don’t know who Russel Brand is, then I can’t help ya.
Russell Brand started as a comedian and actor. in the late 2000s Brand was massive in Hollywood. Movies like forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek spring to mind.
Brand has battled an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex and pornography but is now over 20 years sober and something of a legend in the recovery community.
I haven’t listened to any of his books or podcasts, but what I like about Brand is that he could have kept playing these high-paying rom-com roles. Still, because he found less fulfilment in it, he decided to channel his energy into more meaningful work, like his activism against the War on Drugs and many others.
He might be a bit extreme for some, but I really like him.
7. Richie Stephens
Richie Stephens is a former Irish gangster turned actor. He is an alcoholic and drug addict in recovery. I first discovered Richie on The Rich Roll Podcast- Irish Gangster Richie Stephens’ Guide to Sobriety (and Second Chances)
Richie wrote the book The Gangsters Guide to Sobriety: My Life in 12 Steps.
Although I’m not an Irish gangster, I resonate with much of the stuff Richie talks about, and his book is fascinating. Highly recommend it.
6. John Joseph
John Joseph is a punk rocker who was raised on the streets of New York. He was the lead singer of Cro-Mags.
Joseph’s story is wild. He survived a turbulent upbringing and joined the navy, where he started to deal drugs. He battled addiction problems of his own until he got sober in 1989. Joseph credits health and fitness as a major reason as to why he has been able to stay sober after all these years. Although he eats a vegan diet and lives a straight-edge lifestyle, he refuses to be labelled by either of them. At the age of 60, he is still out there pumping ut marathons and triathlons.
There’s lots of great Joseph content out there, but I have a soft spot for Rich Roll so check these out. Click here for all of John's podcasts with Rich Roll
5. Catra Corbett
Catra Corbett is a fucking badass. She is part of ultrarunning folklore. She is always, by far, the brightest, most colourful person on the trail. She is also a fucking passionate dog mum to a couple of sausage dogs which is always cool. I was thinking of a way to describe her and found this perfect excerpt from her website.
Before I was an ultrarunner, I was a drug addict. I was a hairstylist. a go-go dancer, a daughter, and a friend to many. But mainly, I was a drug addict, doing crazy shit to get more drugs. The drugs led me to drop out of high school, develop an eating disorder, and damage my relationship with my family. I eventually found myself in jail. That was the start of my turn-around — my rock bottom that shook me into deciding I no longer wanted to be an addict.
Catra’s story is incredible, and she writes about it in her book Reborn on the Run: My Journey from Addiction to Ultramarathons. She’s also been on Rich’s podcast How Dirt Dive Catra Corbett was Reborn on the Run.
4. Mishka Shubaly
Mishka is a fuckin’ dude. He is too many things. A musician, an incredible writer, a comedian, a runner and an addict in recovery.
Mishka has done so much writing that there is no way I could recommend any piece of writing he has done over another. It’s all brilliant. There is something about the darkness in his writing that I love. I especially love anything he self-narrates on Audible. I think there’s a lot to be said about how much better audiobooks are when they’re narrated by the author. It’s being read to you the way it was intended to be interpreted. Mishka’s voice is a perfect match for the themes he writes about.
I highly recommend his entire catalogue and any podcast that he’s been on. Here’s a bunch he’s done with Rich.
3. David Clark
David Clark was a heavily overweight businessman who thought he was living a high life. Plenty of money, work trips worldwide, smoking cigars and drinking plenty.
Feel free to fact-check me because it’s been a while since I listened to his book, but when as David’s alcoholism got worse and his weight piled on, his business started to fail.
I remember from his book that he just woke up one day, all 330 pounds of him, and told himself in no uncertain terms that he WOULD become an ultrarunner. If he were going to be about it, he would BE ABOUT IT.
And become an ultramarathoner, he fucking did. From barely being able to run at all to this fucking incredible list, including famous ultras such as Leadville and Badwater multiple times, each! David earned his way into ultrarunning folklore.
David wrote three great books, Broken Open: Mountains, Demons, Treadmills And a Search for Nirvana, EAT SH*T AND DIE: Radical Rehab for Food Junkies and Sugar Addicts, but by far, my favourite one of David’s books is Out There: A Story of Ultra Recovery.
David has also been on a whole stack of podcasts talking about Alcoholism, food addiction, veganism, running, mountain bike riding and MMA training.
Sadly, David passed away on May 22nd, 2020, after complications from a herniated disc surgery. He is survived by his partner Courtney and three children. He was 49 years old. (click here to listen to Remembering David Clark)
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2. Rich Roll
Rich Roll is an alcoholic. He was a collegiate swimmer at Stanford University and a Law graduate from Cornell Law School. He later became one of the best ultra-ironmen on the planet and achieved some incredible endurance feats.
What I love so much about Rich is his late peak. I would try to summarise what I meant, but the man himself did too good a job.
Rich is an absolute cornerstone of modern sobriety. He was an early adapter to podcasting, and The Rich Roll Podcast has over 200 million downloads. What I love about Rich is his open-mindedness, willingness to be proven wrong and the extremely broad range of topics he is willing to cover on his podcast. Although at times, he does cover such topics, it’s so far from being a veganism, endurance sport and sobriety podcast.
Rich’s story of recovery and physical accomplishments are incredible also. He has written a few books, but Finding Ultra is arguably one of the greatest endurance sports books ever written.
1. Charlie Engle
The fucking running man.
I just fucking love Charlie Engle. I’m a bit of a fanboy. Maybe it’s because I resonate so much with him.
Charlie was born to young “hippie” parents. It’s not your typical “grew up with nothing” story, but it kind of follows those lines. Charlie was a good runner in high school but lost his love for it as he got older.
Charlie wound up with heavy addictions to alcohol and cocaine. He always maintained work and ensured he had enough money for himself and his family to get by but continued to battle.
Charlie’s story is just fucking crazy. He never once got in trouble for the bad shit he did in his younger years. He later found himself imprisoned over fraudulent mortgage documents in an extremely targeted attack by an investigator who seemed to have a vendetta.
Charlie used ultra-running to help him get sober and went on to achieve some fucking incredible things through it. In my opinion, Charlie is one of the most under-appreciated ultrarunners of all time. I’m pretty sure he has the most top 5 Badwater finishes. He ran across the fucking Sahara Dessert and made a film about it simultaneously, which Matt Damon produced (sadly, I haven’t found a way to watch it here in Australia). He even found a way to run his own Badwater 135-mile ultra whilst serving time in Berkley prison by running 540 laps of a prison yard track without telling anyone what he was actually up to. This is how he got his nickname.
I resonate a lot with Charlie. We have the same vices, and although I’m not nearly the runner he is, when he talks about the feelings he gets from running, it feels like I’m listening to myself.
I could go on and on about Charlie, but I won’t do that to you. The best thing you could do is get his book, Running Man. You can also click here for a butt load of podcasts the great man has done.
I hope someone out there found some inspiration or sources of future inspiration from any of what I’ve shared. I know I certainly did. The people mentioned above have helped me immeasurably without even knowing they’ve done so. Hopefully, one of them does the same for you.
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Theo Von is the man. I love how comfortable he is with himself to explore his vulnerabilities in a serious yet jovial way. He’s really endearing... that southern drawl makes him about 10x funnier too lol
Knowing you’re going to miss people before they’ve even gone is tough. Good on you for pushing through, Sam. It takes a lot of strength. I see you 🙂.